Mantra
by WakaLakaAlchemist
Summary: Nikolai had a strong love for music, and as such, when a melody presented itself to his ears, it persisted. It cursed him to listen to the same beautiful sounds for days on end. An oxymoron at first, perhaps, but beauty was indeed a curse. DenNor & SuFin.
1. As Long As the Room Keeps Singing

**Mantra**

**Rating: **T for now.  
**Warnings: **Slash, language, human names used. Norway = Nikolai Hansen, Denmark = Mathias Køhler, Iceland = Ari "Ice" Hansen

* * *

What annoyed him was not the fact that he had to wait. No, he could admit that it was his fault he'd forgotten to wake his brother on time for their appointment. Nor was it that the walls of the doctor's office were a blinding, headache-inducing off-white with a banner of colorful jungle animals lining the bottom half. That auto-insurance lady on the television you had to crane your neck to see was beginning to tug at his nerves, and he couldn't stand the obnoxious country music coming from the speakers, but this was not why he was becoming a meter of apathetic irritation. These brief thoughts of homicide came from the spiky-haired blond sitting to his right, who was a clusterfuck of annoying chatter. And he had been. For the past half hour.

"—llo? Helloooo, anyone in there~?" the annoying man chirped. Nikolai chose to ignore him. That is, until he reached his hand over the armrest to poke him in the side. He grabbed it with surprising speed and tossed it back to the older man's lap disgustedly. Why did this guy have to bother him? Why couldn't he talk to someone else in this ridiculously capacious waiting room? The man laughed cheerfully. "Well, at least I know you're alive! I've been talking to you for a while now and you haven't been responding!" _No shit. _"Oh! I haven't introduced myself! My name is Mathias Køhler! What's yours?"

Nikolai turned his head towards Mathias slowly, a cold glare that would send shivers down anyone's spine adorning his pale face. "You're annoying," he deadpanned.

Mathias gave him a stare so blank it confirmed in Nikolai's mind that this man did not think. He then smiled widely, making Nikolai twitch. "So he speaks!"

Rolling his eyes, the aggravated victim turned in his seat and picked up the rather heavy book he'd been attempting to read. Now, what page, what page…ah, there it—

"Oh, this is Norwegian, isn't it? Are you Norwegian? I'm from Denmark!"

_He did not just snatch my book out of my hands and make me lose my place. No. Then I would have to kill him._

While the Dane marveled at the book, turning it this way and that as if it would somehow help him read it, Nikolai sat completely still for a few moments before standing up. "I'd like my book back. Now," he said, his face revealing nothing. Mathias looked up at him and stared for what seemed like an eternity. Just when Nikolai was starting to feel self-conscious, Mathias suddenly stood as well.

"Oh my god! You're so short!"

At that, the tiniest, most miniscule, barely noticeable blush dusted the Norwegian's face. "I'm a perfectly normal height. You're just unnaturally large."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"If it gets you to leave me alone, then yes."

He laughed. The tall bastard laughed. As soon as he started, he stopped and leaned towards Nikolai, staring at him again. Nikolai shoved him away, and the Dane was surprised to land on his back.

"You're blushing! Are you sensitive about your height? Because you're pretty strong for such a little guy!"

That was it. He'd had enough harassment from this…this stranger, this man he didn't even know. He knelt on one knee in front of Mathias, grabbing his collar and staring fixedly into his bright blue eyes. "Look. I don't know what the fuck your problem is, but I'd appreciate it if you'd leave me the hell alone. I've got enough stress in my life; I don't need some moron making me lose it in a waiting room. Bother someone else," he hissed. Grabbing his book back and ignoring the concerned stares they were receiving, he walked to the other side of the large room. Not once did he bother to look up.

About twenty minutes later, he felt someone standing before him.

"Brother."

Nikolai lowered the book slowly. "Ice." His face remained emotionless, but his cold gaze warmed. The pediatrician stepped up next to Nikolai's younger brother, Ari, and nodded at him.

"He's doing fine now. Just make sure he gets plenty of sleep. No more late nights, alright? Thanks for bringing him, Nikolai," she said.

"No problem. Thank you," Nikolai said, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He followed her to the front desk to go through paperwork, Ari standing idly by. Once he finished, Nikolai turned to the younger Hansen. "Are you ready, Ice?"

"Yeah. Let's go home."

He took Ari's hand, guiding him toward the front of the building. Ari gripped it tightly. Nikolai could feel his little brother's hand shaking. As they neared the entrance, he caught Mathias watching them, mouthing something intently. He swore the Dane was saying "Nikolai." He shot him a glare as the spiky-haired blond smiled.

[/]

"Tino, we're home."

Nikolai pulled the keys out of the lock and hung them on the wooden hook next to the door, stepping aside to let Ari inside the apartment.

A sandy-haired young man stumbled out of the kitchen, smiling and welcoming them home. "What are you doing up? Don't tell me you're cooking. You need to stay in bed," Nikolai said sternly.

Tino shrugged sheepishly. "I can't help it, Nikolai. I'm used to being up and getting things done! I get bored just lying around. How was the check-up, Ari?"

Ari breezed past him, barely brushing his shoulder. He disappeared into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Nikolai and Tino stared after him awkwardly.

Nikolai sighed. Why did Ari have to be so rude?

"Don't worry about it. He can't help it if he doesn't like me. I'm not his real dad, and I never will be," Tino said, his violet eyes lowering.

"It doesn't matter. He should be grateful to get out of that shithole they called an orphanage," Nikolai growled, making his way to his and Ari's shared room.

Tino was a Finnish man in his late twenties, though he still looked like a college student. He'd shown up to the orphanage and had taken an immediate liking to Ari, who was quiet and too proud to admit he was unhappy. When Tino found out he had an older brother, he had no problem with adopting him as well. "You can't adopt one brother and leave the other alone! Brothers are like…a package deal!" he'd said cheerfully. Nikolai had responded by staring at him blankly. At that, Tino laughed nervously and went to talk to the owner of the orphanage.

At first, Nikolai was put off by that cheerful nature. He'd thought it was an act to get them to like him, then put them into the labor force. Tino lived in an apartment after all, so who knew how desperate he could be? And who adopted boys as old as twelve and sixteen unless they wanted them to work? But as the weeks passed, Nikolai realized Tino didn't really expect them to work at all—in fact, when the older Hansen had suggested getting a job, he'd refused. "All you need to focus on is school right now!" Tino insisted. Nikolai had eventually gotten used to Tino, and after living with him for over two years, he'd grown to like and respect the older man. He cleaned and took care of them, and although his food wasn't exactly the best in the world, he cooked whenever he was in the mood.

Ari's suspicions and dislike never really left him, and Nikolai supposed that was because he still missed their parents. Their father had died of alcohol poisoning and their mother could not support them on her own, so she'd dumped them at an orphanage when Ari was six. Ari and Nikolai's father was an awful alcoholic, but when he wasn't drunk, he was a fairly good parent. One night he'd gone out drinking with his friends in celebration of a retirement and had to be taken home by a sober coworker. He'd gotten home after everyone was asleep and downed every last alcoholic beverage they owned. Ari didn't understand, their mother was too depressed to explain, and Nikolai just didn't want to tell him. Ari loved his father, and if his older brother told him just how worthless he thought the man was, Ari would not believe him. So Nikolai said nothing about his father and soon they were in a home for other abandoned children, where they themselves were thought of as worthless. Potential parents never considered them, either because Ari looked too unfriendly or they didn't want to adopt both brothers. Nikolai was popular with mothers when he was younger, being rather pretty for a boy, but fathers didn't want such a feminine son. So they spent six years there, staying away from everyone else for the most part, since it was every man for himself. Occasionally there would be "brothers," groups that banded together out of common personalities or pure necessity.

The two reserved themselves, only talking to each other, and came off as antisocial. Which wasn't completely untrue. They learned not to care about anything other than themselves and their brother, and to not show fear or happiness to anyone. They could not afford to be taken advantage of in that orphanage—that could result in stolen food or a beaten, bloody body.

But Tino didn't seem to mind, miraculously; they had found someone who could stand their lack of emotion and limited ability to love. Still, Tino was worried about Ari. Nikolai still could make friends if he wanted to and knew how to talk to people. Ari refused to speak to anyone and didn't like how Tino constantly asked how his day was or if he made any new friends at school. The answer was always the same anyway. Since Nikolai venerated Tino, he became irritated when Ari disrespected the Finnish man.

He slammed the door open, glaring at his younger brother. "What is _wrong_ with you, Ice? Stop being such an ass."

Ari flinched but said nothing.

"I don't understand you anymore. Tino's a sweet guy. Why don't you like him?" Nikolai said in a softer tone, sitting next to Ari on his bed.

"I don't trust him," Ari sighed.

"Why not?"

"He…he's too nice. I don't like it. He's going to take advantage of us someday, someone always does. I mean, he hid all his money from us. I can't trust him!"

About a year ago, Nikolai had found multiple hundred dollar bills in a drawer while cleaning out an old dresser. This was probably why he didn't think they needed to work.

"So what if he's rich? He just doesn't want to live lavishly. People take advantage of rich people too, you know. Especially people as nice as him." Nikolai had asked Tino one day why he didn't live in some nice mansion. Tino told him he didn't think he needed to. He'd lived by himself for much of his life (until he'd adopted them, of course), and it didn't suit him anyway.

"Why are you always defending him?" Ari frowned.

"Because he deserves to be. Just like he deserves your respect. He's sick, for god's sake. You have to treat his better than that."

Ari folded his arms stubbornly. "I don't care. I'm sick too."

"Then shouldn't you understand him?"

"No."

Nikolai rolled his eyes and walked out of the room. Tino was in the kitchen, whistling and stirring a pot. He looked up and smiled at Nikolai. "How'd it go?" Nikolai raised an eyebrow and Tino laughed. "Not good, huh? That's alright. Let him simmer down."

Mentally snorting at Tino's choice of words, Nikolai took the spoon from the older man. "Go sleep, old man. I'll make dinner."

"I'm not old!" Tino said, pretending to look hurt, but failing miserably with the little smile on his face. "When do you have to go to work?"

"Hn…About an hour."

"So you won't be able to eat with us?" A concerned look crossed Tino's face.

Nikolai bit his lip. "No, sorry." Ari never ate with Tino alone. If Nikolai ever had to work around dinner, his younger brother would eat in his room while Tino took his food in the kitchen. "I'll heat it up when I get home."

Tino leaned one hand on the counter and placed the other on his hip. "Are you sure? You always get back late and get, what, three hours of sleep? Take a night off; I don't know _why _you insist on working."

"I'm an adult now. I can't just mooch off of you. I need to save up for college too," Nikolai shook his head.

"You have scholarships, and I said I'd take care of the rest! Don't worry about it!"

"I told you, I'm paying my own way for college."

Tino grabbed the spoon back from Nikolai. "Niki, why don't you let me help you? I know you've been taking care of your brother, so rest up a bit, will you?"

"…I'm going to get dressed for work," Nikolai said, averting his eyes. He walked out of the kitchen towards his room.

"You have to let someone take care of you eventually," Tino murmured to Nikolai's departing back.

[/]

_Boring as hell. _This was the only way Nikolai would ever describe his job at Krieg's Market.

"Cash, credit, or debit?" he said in a tone that would put a classroom to sleep. He hadn't even bothered looking up at the customer. He never did until he was forced to look up, fake a smile, and say, "Thank you, come again!"

The proper response was usually credit; debit if the person was a bit desperate, cash if it were a kid or someone who happened to have a lot of bills on them. These were the only three answers Nikolai ever prepared himself for. Maybe a check, but any other response would break the cycle; jam a stick into the gears that were Nikolai's Job at Krieg's Market.

"Nikolai!" And so the gears halted.

…_Excuse me?_

Nikolai looked up balefully to stare into the face of _that man_; that dreaded Dane with the porcupine hairstyle. What was his name again? Mattie? Mathis?

The reason for his loss of words could be hard to place, since his expression was as bored and stoic as ever, and he simply stared at the offensive man before him. "_You,_" he said.

"Mathias! You remember me from earlier, right? I didn't know you worked here! I come here twice a month!" Mathias grinned broadly. "I should come more often!"

"Please don't."

"Huh? Why nooot?" Mathias whined.

Nikolai sighed when the woman at the cashier next to him gave him a "Be nice" look. He took a deep breath and said, "Cash. Credit. Or debit."

The idiot seemed confused at first, then remembered that he was indeed in a grocery store. "Uh, credit!"

When all orders of business were taken care of, Mathias walked out the entrance, and Nikolai was able to get his gears running smoothly again. That is, until his shift was over and he left the building to find Mathias standing by the door outside.

"What are you doing here?" Nikolai asked, knowing this was a very unwise question.

Mathias laughed. "I was waiting for you, of course!" Before he could ask why, he was pulled into a suffocating, dark warmth. "I'm so glad I could see you so soon again! I'm really sorry if I made a bad impression. Usually I'm not that obnoxious with people!" _That's hard to believe._ "But you look so interesting. I don't know why. I just wanted to talk to you." His cocky grin relaxed into a kind smile as he released his hold on the Norwegian.

He would never understand this guy, would he? For some reason, he felt his throat tighten just the slightest bit—enough for him to take notice. _"I just wanted to talk to you." _The sentence repeated itself over and over in Nikolai's mind, and he closed his eyes. When he opened them, Mathias was staring at him, concerned. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"…I'm fine," Nikolai said softly. "I need to go home."

Stepping out of the smaller man's way, Mathias nodded. "Okay. It was nice seeing you again. I'll talk to ya later, okay? That's a promise! And say hi to your brother for me!"

Nikolai held up a hand in a half-hearted wave as he walked to the back of the parking lot and climbed into his car. It was then that Mathias's promise registered in his head, and he groaned, burying his face in his steering wheel. All the way home, he reminded himself he never wanted to see Mathias again. _I don't want to see him anymore. I don't want to see him anymore. I don't want to see him anymore._

Somehow by the time he made it to the apartment complex parking lot, the song-chant had morphed into, _I dough wand sea anemone. _He shook his head violently before stepping out of the car. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

* * *

**A/N: LOLOLOL ultra failure here. At first I thought this fic was easy. But then I felt like I was giving Norway too many feelings for some reason, and the explanations of their past was ick IMO. I have never written the Nordics before. Please go easy on me and review to your heart's content. :I**


	2. A Teenage Vow in a Parking Lot

**Mantra  
****Chapter 2 – A Teenage Vow in a Parking Lot**

**Warnings: **Slash, language, human names used. Norway = Nikolai Hansen, Denmark = Mathias Køhler, Iceland = Ari "Ice" Hansen  
**Note: Italic writing indicates the past.**

* * *

_-Till tonight do us part-_

Nikolai had a strong love for music, and as such, when a melody presented itself to his ears, it stayed there. Persistently rattling his eardrums and seeming to leave permanent scars in his mind, it cursed him to listen to the same beautiful sounds for days on end. An oxymoron at first, perhaps, but beauty was indeed a curse.

It was this curse that made him the victim of stalking, and thanks to the music, he let it happen. Only because of the music.

_Freedom at last, thank god for freedom. His first week working at Krieg's Market was over. He almost allowed himself to smile as the automatic doors screeched open and the cold air hit him like a bucket of ice water. The crisp, quiet freshness of autumn was Nikolai's favorite time of year. The sound of leaves crunching under his boots sent shivers up his spine and slithered into his reddening ears; sweet sounds were what made it the best season. He could hear so much music, so many melodies…It calmed his nerves and put him in a good mood. Which was saying quite a lot._

_It was then that the alluring, gentle tune of a violin perked his ears. Who could be playing a violin in a parking lot so late at night? He quickened his pace ever so slightly, dragging his boots and creating a festinated shuffling. Turning a corner to the side of the store, he squinted in the darkness to find a tall figure sliding a bow along the stringed instrument. Nikolai watched and listened in wonder as the stranger played, a sad, slow tune gliding through the lonely night. When they were finished, they turned away from Nikolai and walked on._

_It was a peculiar thing. He wasn't sure if this person ever saw him, but every night Nikolai left work, he snuck along this corner to watch them play. Nothing was said between them save the sorrowful melodies, which occasionally turned cheerful or giddy. His heart followed each pace the violin was set to, quickening when the song went tense, relaxing when it slowed again. He could never see this stranger, but he didn't need to. He had fallen in love with their music and, as strange and foreign as it was to admit, the stranger themself._

_But he didn't have time for love. His younger brother and adoptive father were both unwell, each in their own way. So he simply listened to them play and did not bother to speak._

After the rather rude appearance of Mathias in the parking lot, Nikolai hit a stunned realization that he had forgotten that night to listen to the violinist. Every night for the past four months he had stopped by the corner to lay his back against the wall and take in the sounds, the purity. But tonight was the first night he'd forgotten to. Nikolai paused in placing his keys on the wooden hook, then realizing it was stupid to consider going back to see if they were still there, he walked into the kitchen.

Food sounded particularly good at the moment, so he decided not to think about it. He wasn't even sure if they knew he existed. Nikolai peered into the fridge, pulling out a plastic Tupperware container and peeling off the clear blue lid.

Fish pies. What happened to the soup? Nikolai shrugged, dumping the container's contents onto a paper plate and placing it in the microwave. And so Nikolai's night went.

[=]

"_What are you doing?"_

_Nikolai barely glanced up at his younger brother. Instead he focused his attention on the bulky, black contraption and a rectangular piece of plastic that seemed to be detached from it. He did not move; pressing the two parts together as if gravity would magically glue them back._

"_Is that a Walkman? Where did you get that?" Ari asked._

"…_The street. It was broken. I thought I could fix it," Nikolai muttered._

_Snorting, Ari sat himself next to the older Hansen. "Like that could ever work. What could an orphan know about electronics?"_

_Nothing, of course. Nikolai knew nothing of electronics. But he had heard wonderful stories of these things where you could listen to your own music, privately, without anyone else telling you to turn that racket down. He didn't know why he was trying to fix it; he didn't even have any cassettes. But it was a step. _

_Every time he would get so close to getting some form of music, it was taken away from him. Other kids would break his homemade instruments, the owner of the orphanage would laugh at him and dispose of the broken flute he had found…and Ari never seemed to mind. In fact, Ari never showed interest in music. Not anymore. When they were much younger, Ari would sit on the bench next to him and listen to Nikolai play his piano, leaning on his shoulder and quietly nodding along. As he got older, his distaste in music grew, and he would leave whenever it was around. Nikolai did not understand it, and he wouldn't have minded it either, if Ari hadn't been such a brat about it._

"_Music gets you nowhere, so I don't see why you try. It's not going to get us out of here," Ari said, poking the broken Walkman. "Why don't you think of a way to free us instead? Do something useful."_

_He was not going to hit his brother. Nor was he going to yell at him. He had a valid point after all. Instead he stood, threw the contraption to the ground, and left the room without waiting to watch it shatter. He did not hear his brother collapse, and it was not until much later did he find out that Ari had had a seizure._

_He could only blame himself._

His eyes snapped open. Nikolai blinked away the sleep and sat up slowly to look at his alarm clock. Four thirty in the morning. Well, he wasn't getting back to sleep anytime soon. He took a deep breath and grabbed a pair of jeans and a sweater. His tennis-shoed feet tapped quietly along the carpeted hall, and with a light _squeak _of the door, he was out of the apartment.

The keys he'd grabbed before leaving jingled in his pocket. It was quiet downtown, and the only illumination came from dim streetlamps and the blinking neon lights of bankrupt businesses. He was fairly out of it, and if a car happened along, he'd probably end up in a hospital.

Nikolai often went on these walks at random times of the night. He went whenever he had those dreams, whenever he felt guilt, whenever he wished he could be free of the thing he loved most; the thing that hurt his brother.

When the sun began to peek weakly from the short-cut grass and melted snow on the ground, he made his way back home. He did not bother to explain his absence to Tino, who was holding the phone and demanding to know where he'd been once he'd walked into the kitchen.

"Nikolai, where do you keep going? I almost called the neighbors this time, you know!" he scolded. He hung the phone up with hands so jittery that it fell from its base and clattered to the floor. Nikolai stared at it as Tino wrung his hands nervously, twitching and sniffling.

"I'm okay. Calm down," he said, stepping towards his adoptive father. Tino took a step back and clung to the counter.

"Y-you don't understand. I worry; I worry so much about you! Ari, already, he's already like this…I don't want you getting hurt too!" the Finnish man stuttered. He'd been told about Ari's seizures when he'd adopted him, but the first time he actually saw it, his anxiety peaked and he'd almost had a seizure himself.

Tino whipped around and grabbed a bottle from the counter. He struggled with shaking hands to open it, but Nikolai grabbed it from him.

"You don't need it right now. Just lie down and—"

"I need it!" Tino cried, slouching to the floor. "You don't understand…I-I can't…with you…" He mumbled on incoherently. Nikolai bit his lip and closed his eyes for a moment before filling a plastic cup with water and handing it to Tino. He passed him one pill from the bottle as well. Nikolai didn't quite trust Tino with this new medication, just as he didn't believe depression was a disease you could simply take pills for and be as cheerful as anyone. Tino had always been depressed, living alone for most of his life, but adopting children hadn't made it go away. If anything, Ari's condition made things worse, but Tino couldn't simply abandon them. He was weak and sometimes a bit hysteric, but not enough for him to be sent to a mental home. Nikolai took care of the both of them as best he could, feeling his own sanity slowly slipping away day by day.

[=]

"Are you unhappy?"

Nikolai glanced at the frowning (how rare) Dane before him, but chose to ignore him. He scanned the rest of the items—just a haphazard pile of completely unrelated magazines, a pack of Five gum, and a razor. An annoying birdie in the back of his mind told him Mathias really had no reason for coming other than to irritate the shit out of him. He was very good at ignoring things, however.

Mathias went on despite the silent treatment. "I mean, 'cause you look pretty unhappy. I know you always look like that—"

"You've known me for two days."

"—but there's just something different about your eyes. You seem kind of…" Mathias leaned in closely to, once again, examine the Norwegian's face. "…disturbed," he finished. Nikolai pushed his face away and shoved his bag into his arms. Mathias pushed back unexpectedly, and Nikolai was a little more than surprised to have his face pressed against the Dane's chest. Nikolai nearly fell over the counter when Mathias pulled away, making the taller man laugh. Nikolai gripped the counter tightly, glaring at the source of his embarrassment. He swore he would have knocked him out had the manager not been watching them.

"Seriously though. I know I don't know you that well, but if you want to talk about something, I'm willing to listen. I don't offer the greatest advice, but you know, if you want to talk about it sometime…" Now the Dane was starting to blush. Nikolai snorted.

"Are you trying to ask me out?"

Mathias's mouth opened as if to say something, but then he smiled. "You laughed. That's the first time I've seen you smile."

The smirk left the Norwegian's face immediately. "Are you going to pay or not?" he asked flatly.

Mathias pouted, paid, and left. As expected, he was waiting for Nikolai when he finished his shift. "I can't stay," Nikolai said. "I have a reason to leave, and it's not just because I don't like you."

The Dane raised an eyebrow. "A reason? Like what? And you don't like me?"

"No, I don't," he said, not bothering to answer the first question.

"But you hardly know me! You can't say you don't like me!"

"I can and I will."

Mathias swiftly stepped in front of him, and continued to do so each time Nikolai attempted to side-step the taller blond. After a short dance-like, awkward shuffle, Nikolai sighed and looked up at Mathias. "_What?_"

"So what's the reason? You never told me," Mathias asked.

"You have no business asking. I have no relations to you and no obligation to tell you anything. So if you'll excuse me…" Nikolai finally made his way around Mathias and walked towards the side alley of the store, but the Dane was not going to let him get away that easily.

The element of surprise is often difficult to achieve in this day and age. People are always expecting something, good or bad, and by this time, we think we've seen and heard it all. Nikolai was a prime example of this aspect, as nothing seemed to surprise him anymore. He was done with elation, with fear, with emotions. But Mathias Køhler was not one to give up easily, and he'd known Nikolai for far longer than the Norwegian knew.

"He's not going to be there today."

Nikolai halted; stumbled, almost. A furious blush at having been caught and almost losing his grace adorned his face for a split second, but paled quickly. How did this guy know what he was doing? He did not turn around.

"You know, the violin guy? The one you've been listening to for the past few months? He's not here. And he wasn't here yesterday, in case you were upset about missing him," Mathias explained. He stepped towards Nikolai, who took the last few brisk steps into the alley. Empty. Wet, cold, dark nothingness. "See?"

Nikolai was no idiot. He could put two and two together. He just didn't want to believe it. "You're not…him…are you?"

Mathias grinned and stood next to the smaller man. "I sure am! You're so cute when you're listening to music, Nikolai! You stop scowling and you even smile sometimes!"

The musician who he'd thought was deep, talented, otherworldly…was some simple idiot playing next to a supermarket. Then a crushing realization dawned on him—really, what did he expect? Playing in the alleyway of Krieg's Market was not exactly elegant, and he'd never even talked to the person. For all he'd known, it could have been a homicidal maniac who was attempting to lure him in and murder him. Like some witch tempting children with candy.

_Oh, God._ Nikolai buried his face in his hands. _I'm so fucking childish._

"Huh? What's wrong? You don't believe me? Wait here for a second, I'll be right back!" Mathias dashed off and left Nikolai standing in the alley, fighting the burning desire to jump off the nearest bridge.

_I thought I loved this person…I never got to hear my own private concert before. Always, I've always had to keep it away from Ari. He hates music…_

Mathias's words from the night before came back to him. _"I just wanted to talk to you."_ How long had he been wanting to talk? How long had he known Nikolai was there? Was it just a coincidence that they'd met at the doctor's office, or had the Dane taken initiative and followed him? _What if he knows my schedule? Does he know when Ari's next check-up is? Maybe he is insane…And he's showed up at my workplace when I've never seen him there before. _Nikolai's fists tightened at his side. One spark after another lit in his mind, crossing and crashing and creating new paranoid assumptions. Mathias was trying to murder him. Rape him. Kill his family. _Hurt him_.

When Mathias returned, Nikolai was prepared to face him and give him a good knee in the groin. But very suddenly came the sound of gratitude, wrapping itself around Nikolai's mind and wiping out all ridiculous notions. It soothed his frantic nerves and eased his paranoia. He relaxed and breathed in, his breath shaking slightly. He could no longer deny it. Mathias had the same posture, the same smile, as the stranger. He was the one he'd fallen in love with. Idiotically, naïvely, innocently. Mathias was a completely different person when he played, and Nikolai could not help wishing he was always like this. It would at least lessen his resentment towards him.

As soon as it finished, the goofy grin returned to the Dane's face. "So how did you like it? You're convinced I'm the same guy, right? I made it a happy one because you finally know who I am!"

Nikolai tensed again. Mathias saw this and flinched, but held his ground. Nikolai couldn't hate him, right? He could tell he admired the violinist. He'd see him every night, watching him play from around the corner with the most intense gaze. His beautiful eyes made Mathias want to keep playing for him, instead of the reason he'd started playing there in the first place. It made him feel guilty, but so did the things he imagined doing to Nikolai while those violet-blue orbs bore holes into him. But that was another thing entirely.

The Norwegian honestly didn't know what to say. He didn't want to make this maybe-stalker think he approved. So he simply walked past him, deciding he would never go to that alley next to Krieg's Market again.

"I'll come back tomorrow! I can tell the songs I play make you happy, so I want to play for you every day! Okay?" the Dane called to him. Nikolai said nothing. Right before he slammed his car door shut, he vaguely heard Mathias say, "Every day, I'll come find you! I'll play for you!"

The only word that clattered viciously in Nikolai's thoroughly confused mind was "_Why?" _Why did he want to play for him? It made no sense. Nikolai felt the danger in this, having felt the confirmation of the stalker notion. But it was just playing the violin. He could always ask the music to be played in public to make sure there were others around. And besides that…he delighted in Mathias's music. It was the highlight at the end of each workday, and no one had ever played just for him before.

He knew he would regret it, but the music was his poison to which he was madly addicted to.

* * *

**A/N: I feel like that was a lot better than the first chapter. I hope you guys feel the same way. I finally know where I'm going with this story! :D Don't worry; it won't be nearly as awful as the first chapter. This fic is based on a song, which won't quite be revealed until the last chapter. If you know the song it's not hard to figure out. And yes, Tino and Nikolai are supposed to be slightly insane. Though slightly may be an understatement. At least you guys know what's wrong with Tino now. Yup, Ari has something different. So thanks for reading and please review~**

**I know this seems to be veering off completely from the first chapter, but please bear with me. It's all important eventually, although I didn't have to get so into their past. I shouldn't have just crammed it all into the beginning, but maybe I'll revise chapter one later. For now, the story will go on.**


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